What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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