What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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Got milk? No.

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Why....... Because.

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Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

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A man walks into a bar.

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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