How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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69

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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Brett Farve

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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