Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

9/11 my birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So one time there was this woman learning...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ugvvvvvv

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

thumb_up thumb_down -1

yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops