Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Get up Look in the mirror

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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