Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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knock,knock you suck

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nothing

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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