Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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Tony Romo

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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knock knock come in

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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