I had 99 problems Solved them all

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

Knock knock. Get out!!

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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