How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Take part of what?

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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how do you win a game try your best

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops