What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

thumb_up thumb_down -37

kk

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

thumb_up thumb_down -37

(PC) Why aren't regular jokes as good as anti-jokes? Because they are worse than anti-jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

thumb_up thumb_down -39

theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man walks in a bar he talks to the bartender aand he tells him a joke about him and hs friends. how do you find out his name? You killl the bartenders friends and family untill he talks.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

thumb_up thumb_down -39

There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

dylan hodge wishes he could suck his own **** jokes thats what his mothers for

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops