Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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12 in general

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops