How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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womens rights.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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