YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops