Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Penis-biter

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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