Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

knock knock who's there? your destiny

whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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