why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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