Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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