- Anti Joke

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops