Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

thumb_up thumb_down +9

WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

i dont fisish anythi

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops