Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Half life 3 confirmed

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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