What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Get up Look in the mirror

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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