Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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bangers and mash?

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops