What's grey and can't fly? A castle

guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

HEY YOU! TISSUE!

What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

What's brown and sticky? My ass.

theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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