Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops