An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops