A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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