Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

Knock, Knock Come in

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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