Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

Knock Knock. There was no answer.

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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