Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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hashtags suck balls

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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