What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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