So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops