Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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