Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops