What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:Whats evil ,not funny and on wheels A:The Holocost on wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops