What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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69.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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