Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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whats hairy and crys your mom

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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