A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

Knock knock... Home invasion

Bob Saget that is all

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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