- Anti Joke

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

human centipede

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

=3

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GASP! X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." runs

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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