Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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i committed murder

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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