Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Donald Trump.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops