Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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