how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops