How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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I'm hungry.

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hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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