A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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Cancer

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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