what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

your mom.

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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