- Anti Joke

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... hayroll crickets Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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