You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Penis

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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