What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops