What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

To you to which this may concern: Nero Septimus, known as Nero7, left me in charge of the order, while I know many do not consider me a worthy leader, I share if but one trait except humanity with Nero7, I could not care less about what you care about me, you WILL follow me if you want, and likewise GTFO if you do not, Nero7 told me that his mistake was allowing too many people follow him half assed, taking advantage of his wisdom and then mock him for the advice that was beyond what you where able to understand... ...It is this that led to the downfall of the old order, all we can do now, is to gather those of you that want to follow me, his chosen successor to the letter, or I will kick your fucking ass out of the Order, because as you do know if you listened: "We do not do mistakes, if we accept that what we are actually making, are experiences, then we have simply learned something new, and if said experience is unpleasant, we accept that we have simply learned how to never experience it again" So I will allow no one to take advantage of me, to laugh behind my back, not without breaking your skull, and allowing you to watch as I shut your family inside your own home, and set fire to it, Treat me well and we can together design our future to our liking, treat me bad, and your future on earth ends where you stand, zero tolerance, so consider your actions well... ...This as I will rather follow my ancestors line alone, than with scum like those of you that react in shock as you read this statement, remember that it was your own goddamn fault that he died, and that while he never told us his true age because he did not know himself, this was because he was beaten so badly as a kid, that he one day lost much of his memory... To the contrary of common belief, he was merely 31 years old according to several tests, and despite many of your comments, his IQ which he never shared because he just as me believes if fucking bullshit, was of 178, a fucking genius, to those of you that are fucking stupid enough to care... ...Those of you that are NOW going "OMG HE WAS TRULY A GENIUS BECAUSE OF A FUCKING NUMBER!" Will NEVER RETURN if you are concerned for your life and the safety of your family. I might not wear an fist made of steel, but as all of those of you that attended to his funeral and read his last will, the order is no longer a place for those that want to follow me half assedly. In other words, those that want to follow me, are from today under my rule, and I need no said prosthetic, because I will not only lead, but also rule with an iron fist. For what you allowed to happen, which cost the life of many of out kin, including the one of our wise young and talented leader, I expect absolutely no one to return to our last stronghold at the hour you can fucking decipher yourself from this statement alone. ...So know that if you respected the greatest leader there where, you will follow me, and that since our order has no room for failure, those that might return and "fail" to follow the new rules, the new order, will either willingly face the consequences which consist of very unpleasant experiences and then leave, or not meet up at all. I need none of those that failed our great leader whose failures led to his death and the death of countless of our own kin, so my goal will be finding new people, this does not mean that those willing to bow down before me and tell me you have learned from your fucking mistakes, will not be given a chance anew. Still ladies and gentlemen formerly of the order of old, know that I am not alone, know that while we are few, we still consist of those that would never dare laugh his back, and that we are powerful enough to grow beyond what the rest of humanity has, and will ever see, And that if you decide to follow us, the council, and me as its leader, then neither you will be alone. We accept mistakes, nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, but accepting failure, and failing to follow us on purpose, will cost you far more, than what you alone can pay with. "If we fall, we rise again wiser and stronger, having learned by our experiences, for what are we, if we keep making those experiences does not matter, what matters is knowing that if we do the same mistakes, we will one day be no more" Nero Septimus,

you gay?

What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

what kind of sex did ethan have? webcam sex

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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