What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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Ben Corbishley

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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