what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops