A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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