A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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