Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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