How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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Turkey Balls

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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