How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

Death by kayak

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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