Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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