If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops