Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

I put my baby in a microwave.

Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

"Eliza" We have heard your concerns, yet as you know Nero7 has for many years suspected that we are being infiltrated, and while this led towards changes in security measures and clearance checks, to the point that many of our members began fearing that Nero7 was becoming paranoid, and some quit even believing he had become delusional... ...His suspicions have during his absence due to health reasons, proven true. All worldwide locations but our main foundation/base have fallen under complete control of powerful forces what we have concluded is a single global terrorist organization which is as we speak, using what they believe is the orders main resources, using them for acts such as pressuring our members for money, attempting to conscript them as soldiers, and going as far as using underhanded, aggression and pressure and violence in order to further their goals. The good news "Eliza" is that Nero7 gave us permission to access his personal files, where his suspicions, which otherwise had led even many of us of higher rank to believe Nero7 had become completely delusional, have all quickly turned out to be completely true, even in the slightest detail. We have also discovered that during Nero7`s formerly inexplicable absence for over five years which left our order in disarray as many dedicated members and even leaders left, planned out effective counter-measures and strategies which have not only allowed us to contact our members worldwide encouraging them to follow the orders of those that have infiltrated us, but also the means to slowly extract them and allow those marked by our unknown enemies, to find refugee within our safety quarters. Many of us, even I and Nero7`s left hand (the first female you all have met) quickly began suspecting that Nero7 might have in fact been the one behind this considering his incredibly detailed information regarding the ongoing threat, yet considering the fact that Nero7 is not only hospitalized but where also heavily assaulted by what he believed was a common drunk, but was actually a mercenary hired by this unidentified enemy force to kill him in what would have made seem like a bar brawl, but also the fact that our main resources hidden to all but our highest order and some of our economist and used sparingly in order to hinder financial trouble during "rainy days" and also in order to support members that face sudden unexpected economical struggle or crippling injuries or disease. So unless Nero7 used his own resources, which is barely enough to keep him from going hungry, in order to steal from himself, which is illogical (I am ashamed to admit that I earn over 98 percent more, while my efforts and responsibilities are not nearly as demanding as his). To think that Nero7 even thought himself delusional and started doubting his sanity, it rather turns out that yet again he has proven himself to be a misunderstood genius that has led us even though many followers went as far as to mock him, leave and start hate groups. "Eliza" I know this is far beyond the hours we operate at, but I ask you that you let us know if you are still there so we can inform you further (to think that even I deemed Nero7`s decision of using such a crippled site as this one in order to relay certain information, instead this piece of crap site which gets hacked nearly daily, is now as he assumed not only one of the, but the ONLY place on earth in we can safely relay information during this attack. Eliza the first thing we discovered is that these are in no way affiliated/allied with the government, nor some government black op (Nero7 was right about investigations from FBI The C.I.A and even Interpol`s interpol, while peaceful, where actually the means our enemies used to collect information, but now we have also learned, that these random, investigations considered strange by none but Nero7 for thousands of reasons all in front of our eyes, are part of this global threat against not only the reputation of our order, which is already in the progress of being ruined, revealed to the public and misused, but also towards its existence, all while our enemies keep using the exposure of our order with the intention of "recruiting" new members, promising them money, and have begun using religious, spiritual and brain washing methods in order to draft them into their cause. You know there is nothing Nero7 hates more than these methods and please, spread the word any which way you can. If you can buy a new cellphone and spread the word (your number has already been added at their registry) and call and warn all members and potential members you know, we will repay your efforts once this is over. Ps: Those hidden camera Nero7 heavily insisted we put, which we considered completely insane, are the only means in which we are aware of several of their actions, damn us all for doubting the man which has made us what we are today, and which we advise we had listened to, would never have gotten into this mess. Might the shadows support you "Eliza".

Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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