roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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