A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

thumb_up thumb_down +4

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops