There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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