Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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