What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Your big dick.

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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