What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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