Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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