- Anti Joke

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

THe Election

why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

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