Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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my penis

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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