what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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The Big Band Theory

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Once upon a time a was born

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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