A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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hello

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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