knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +9

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops