What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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I <3 Hitler

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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