A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops