Manchester City

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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God is real.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops