Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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Jimmy tells his mom he wants to be a Firefighter when he grows up to which the mother replies, "You can't Jimmy, you have leukemia."

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A Pakistani news reader.

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Your're racist.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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