A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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