An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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