A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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