Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Tall asians

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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