How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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hashtags suck balls

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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