If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

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I'm homeless.

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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