what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Knock Knock.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops