One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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