Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

thumb_up thumb_down

What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

thumb_up thumb_down

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

thumb_up thumb_down

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

thumb_up thumb_down

A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

thumb_up thumb_down

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

thumb_up thumb_down

here's a joke... the american education society

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

thumb_up thumb_down

PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

thumb_up thumb_down

5 Italian guys from Long Island

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops