I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops