- Anti Joke

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

knock knock whos there the game i lost the game

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

knock knock whos there the game i lost the game