Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +24

No soup for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops