Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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