I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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A fat guy!

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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I wrote a funny joke.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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