In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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