Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

a person who will soon die of beeties

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

Whats the defination of cruelty

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

Link ate ink to make him sink.

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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