Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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pudding

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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