An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why don't mummies take vacations? They're dead.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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