what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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