How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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