What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Women's Soccer.

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops