My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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The holocaust

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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