Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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