Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Who's Micheal Jackson?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

were you expecting a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops