Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

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your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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