Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Black people stink of shite!

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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