Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -9

did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops