A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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Why? Because.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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