What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

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It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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Weaner

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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regoereiorgiorehgijreirehrfjirgjirejgruirehgrghehiiehaoiwpo;lkswpokewqoifgoieqjgiubtfoewfiir K.O

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops