My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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