What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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