A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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knock knock go away

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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