Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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