The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock go away

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops