whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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