What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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