I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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meatspin.fr

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops