What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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12 in general

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops