Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

Burp

Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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