Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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drugs.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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