How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Who wants water? I do.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops