whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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