Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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