Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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