John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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