roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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(Played Basketball for 15 years) I TOLD YOU I'D QUIT WHEN LeBron Gets A RING

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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