How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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baby on board sign?? target aquired.............

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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