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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops