Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops