What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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