A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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