Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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I have a really funny joke.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops