i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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