why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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