A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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