What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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how much fish could a chicken

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

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A women left the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops