Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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pull my finger (farts)

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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