Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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whats the differnce between a white boy and a black boy? skin color

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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