Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

what is red and smells like paint red paint

Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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