- Anti Joke

What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

whats long and black on a black guy slavery

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

one of the idiot

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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