If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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whats worse than the holocaust ? ms.brinkmann? noo close....a black guy trying toget a job.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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