Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

1+2 = 6

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

What does the average fishermen catch Fish

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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