If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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What does? 42

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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