Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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