Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

thumb_up thumb_down

So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

thumb_up thumb_down

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

thumb_up thumb_down

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops