Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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my penis

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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