What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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