What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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Ol-ive

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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