Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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