When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

joe galasso from plainview ny

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

Steve Jobs is alive.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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