What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops