Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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