What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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