When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops