Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Jovan

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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every cloud has a silver lining

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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