Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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