What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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whats black and strange a paki

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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