A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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