Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops