Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +8

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops