- Anti Joke

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

Womans baksetball...

Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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