The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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