What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Your big dick.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops