A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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knock knock you may come in

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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live babies

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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