What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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live babies

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does this look unsure to you?

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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