A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

what is patrick wilson? smart

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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