How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

knock knock you may come in

Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

Two guys were sitting in a pub.

What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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