Hair

thumb_up thumb_down -22

if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

thumb_up thumb_down -26

james schmitt whats your last name

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

thumb_up thumb_down -138

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Jess Burns

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops