Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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The WNBA.

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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The awkward when you said moment in your head.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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American healthcare.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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yo mama's so fat, her medical weight chart is much steeper than those of most women her age

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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i like potatoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops