what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Military intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I like to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Kenny G

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops