A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

A baby seal walks into a club

knock knock you may come in

Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

Two guys were sitting in a pub.

How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

How do you make a grilled cheese for a black guy? Butter two pieces of bread, place two slices of any kind of cheese in between the pieces of bread, then fry it in a pan with butter.

What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

live babies

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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