How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops