my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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