Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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batman farted so hes retarded

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How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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Jamie Stegman was dead. LOL

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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