why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -20

People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

thumb_up thumb_down -20

if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops