An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Jovan

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops