What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Shltskc gw? G

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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