Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

j.p. is dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

thumb_up thumb_down -14

God saw himself. Finally, proof.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops