What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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