Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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