Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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