What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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