Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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So these two girls have a cup .

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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baloney sandwich

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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