Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -11

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A penis walks into a bar..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -13

which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops