what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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this website is a bad joke

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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