A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops