What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A young baby died.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops