A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

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justin beiber sucks

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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