Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

What do black people and asians have in common? arms

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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