Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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