what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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bangers and mash?

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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I don't get it

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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