How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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