Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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knock,knock you suck

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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