Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats black and strange a paki

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

thumb_up thumb_down +10

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops