- Anti Joke

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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