A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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what the deference between a priest and acne well the acne doesn't come on the kids face tell hes thirteen

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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