A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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