What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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