- Anti Joke

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

Why is this joke funny It isn't

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

Knock Knock! F*ck off

What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

Lady, calm down, you are missing out on the details here. We knew he was selling information as "The Wiz", from there on it was no problem tracking him down, but having us track him down at the core of Point Zero, would have dragged you all down with him, he was into sharing not only precious Intel, but also some sick shit, nobody is going to mourn him, and neither should you. We sent him a tip so he would get to some location where he would still be able to bypass the lockdown (easy to assume a little geek knows how to manage this), but a small anonymous tip would never have been enough to make him run for it, the next part was to make sure the info on his anonymous message, begin to come true. Sorry about the rest, I needed to know what position he had among "the Order", and he was shot down by a sniper, he knew too much, his involvement, and abilities as both a liar and a traitor, could easily have made it so he would have lied the blame on you, so he could have gone free. And believe me, this happens a lot, and is probably what happened to the old underground as well, think about it, you begin selling some dirty info videos, pictures of things nobody should see in the name of some "organization" (I have no idea what you call your thing, and it is best you never tell me). Then what is left? You claim the entire organization you work for, are the ones responsible for your dirty work, you tell your captors, and you go home rewarded with freedom taking the whole organization down with you, when in this case, the one that would have gone free, would have been the only one to blame. I know what the rest of you are doing, I mean I was part of its foundation years ago, and there is nothing illegal about it, yet people such as the feds would as they did, have brought the whole place down again, and as they had nothing to accuse us for back then other than "we do not like this", they never shared this to the mainstream media. Cant have that happening again, no matter the cost, and if you ask me, some small geek pedophile selling bullshit, should not blame you all, but die, that is justice. It was not "nice knowing me", we will meet again, I mean it, even if I have to get your cell number on "gray terms", you might not like it, but I will call you, on friendly terms of course. The setup is finished, got to go, cant sit here typing on my laptop anymore, gotta get back to the office.

What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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