A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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