Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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rarw

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops