why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops