What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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