Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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