What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -40

hello

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -40

what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What is an anti joke? It's jokes about jews, blacks, and walking out of bars LIKE AN IRISHMAN

thumb_up thumb_down -40

theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops