How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops