Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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