What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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