“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops