Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

woman's rights

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...