Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops