why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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