What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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