How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops