What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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