What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

One time i was sitting down

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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