What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops