A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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