roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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