A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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human centipede

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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=3

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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