How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops