What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

Why is Texas so hot? The sun

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

I'm Polish.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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