Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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