A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Click here to end the world.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops