Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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What is older than history?

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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