What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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No

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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