Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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A dancer walks into a barre

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops