I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops