There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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Anti jokes are funny

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Brett Farve

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Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

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Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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Potato salad

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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