What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

what is patrick wilson? smart

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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