what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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