How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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