How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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=3

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops