Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops