"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

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How you know when dislextic

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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