Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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