What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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My name is Will I am a real homosexual

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What is the worst joke ever? This one.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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