Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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