Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops