whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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cool

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

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american idol

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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