- Anti Joke

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

alert("Hello");

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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