Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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