A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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