What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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