Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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