Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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