Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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