(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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roses are red poo is poo

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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