What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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