How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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A dyslexic blind man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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