Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

A guy walks into a bar and falls.

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

A chicken walked into the bar...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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