How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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men's rights activists

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops