Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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