Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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