Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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