What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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womens rights

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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