Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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like if your cool

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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Rebecca Black

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops