How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

So, this joke isn't funny.

Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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