Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops