How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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