A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops