What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

thumb_up thumb_down -3

2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

i like turtles

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops