I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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What is older than history?

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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