Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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