What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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knock knock? come in

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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