What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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