Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops