What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops