Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

What do I hate? people

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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