It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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where's mom I killed her

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops