Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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An anti-joke

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops