What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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