What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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