Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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