What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

thumb_up thumb_down +20

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +20

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

My Nan, that is all.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops