How you know when dislextic

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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Japanese study of the stereotypical American man: Murica: Come on come on! Japanese: Uh yes? *walks toward American* Murica: Are you okay?! Japanese: Well yes I am doi.. Murica: BUSTER WOLF *Punches Japanese which smacks into the ground critically wounded. Murican: OKAAAAAAAAAAAY! *throws dirty trucker cap at Japanese man and leaves.* BEWARE OF THE TYPICAL AMERICAN! Study 2 American man, taught Japanese Discipline: Japanese: Herrow Mr.Educated American *bows* "Japanesed Murican": *Fighting Pose* " I SHALL STAIN MY HANDS, WITH YOUR BLOOD!" *Japanese people run away* Experiment fail. BEWARE EXTREMELY OF AMERICAN MAN! Nero: Nuking Japan probably created a few controversies and wrong stereotypes... After visiting the US several times, I find these manners to be of the Texan stereotype though... Educated Murican: PREDICTABO!

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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The Labour Party.

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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