Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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I had a really great joke to tell you!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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diarrhea.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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