A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops