We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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