The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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what's worse than pie? alot of things.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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White men's rights

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Roses are red, yup.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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