How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Neither did she.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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Who wants water? I do.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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