How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

whats brown and sticky? Doody

When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

You know what's funny? A well told joke

Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven was black

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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