You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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Why Because

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What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Potato salad

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Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

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I got shot, you laughed

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops