Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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no

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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