Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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I got shot, you laughed

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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knock knock whos there .. derp

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What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

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Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

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Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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