What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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Nickelback

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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arse

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops