A black man killed someone

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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