i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

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Well, this is fun.

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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A black person in the NHL

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arse

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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