Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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I like to eat.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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