Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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I like jokes.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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Hey, come here often? No.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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