What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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The government makes a good decision

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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why did the chicken cross the road

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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