A bar walks into a man

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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