What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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