Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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