Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Where's the soap?

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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