What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

My friend Keith found a worm in his apple. He ate it anyways

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.. That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. The monks reply, “Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, “May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone…The man requests the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,…. ….silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the key to the last door.” The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight…. ….But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -31

My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than the unwarrented death of six milliion Jews? The death of six million and one Jews

thumb_up thumb_down -31

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

thumb_up thumb_down -33

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops