Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops