What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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the WNBA.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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