Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops