Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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rarw

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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WILLYS

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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my egg roll

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops