What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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#IHateHashtags

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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