- Anti Joke

What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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