What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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