yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Read a Book.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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