Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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