What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops