What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +5

69...you know how awkward this is now...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops