A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

thumb_up thumb_down +9

One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Potassium? K.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

thumb_up thumb_down +9

flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops