Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

A fat guy!

cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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