Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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