A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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whats an aids victims last wish not to have aids

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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* anti-punchline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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