Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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