A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

You want to hear a joke? Republican

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

Why is this joke funny It isn't

WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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