A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops