- Anti Joke

Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

Find the m nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

What is my name? I dont know

A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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