Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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