What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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