Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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