Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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