I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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