whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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