How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

What is my name? I dont know

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

josh sucks polish adams dick

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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