What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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