wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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