Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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