why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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A russian gives away vodka.

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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