Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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