whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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