People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

Whats cold and frozen? ice

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

kieran is a homosexual

CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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