A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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miha kako si?

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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