theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me me Oh

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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cool

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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