How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

knock,knock you suck

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

Why did the world end? Because of Jim Layhey's whispering winds of shit.

why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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