Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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69.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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