What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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