Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the worst joke ever? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats green and lives in the water

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops