What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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A gay man watches football.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Massie is a fatass

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what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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