Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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kennah campion when she talks

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Who wants water? I do.

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Cripples are lame.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops