Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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Take wrong turns

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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There was a chicken. It squarked.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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