What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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hi

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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