When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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