What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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were you expecting a joke

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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