Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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