What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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