What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops