Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops