Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops