Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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