why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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