why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops