What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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