What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's long and black? A long and black object.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is an antijoke? Not Knock

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -30

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops