What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops