whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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hi

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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