I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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