A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops