Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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