What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops