A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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whats the differnce between a white boy and a black boy? skin color

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

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Diarrhea

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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