A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...