Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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