Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops