You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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No soup for you!

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Dude man, I'm high...

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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