" I can't here you it's too dark!"

An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

Knock knock Nobody's home.

Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

ekoj

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

gays

The Aristocrats

where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

Womens rights.

how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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