Knock knock, come in.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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That's unfortunate.

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ASSCHEEKS

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This is not a joke.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Hey, come here often? No.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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