What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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knock knock you may come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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