Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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theres a fat guy

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

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What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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Scott

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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