There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Oh...okay, good.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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