What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

A black guy walks in to a bar.

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

Chocolate rain Awesome!

What's funny? Women's rights.

Jess Burns

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

why did the chicken cross the road

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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