A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Massie is a fatass

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

thumb_up thumb_down -7

there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -7

regoereiorgiorehgijreirehrfjirgjirejgruirehgrghehiiehaoiwpo;lkswpokewqoifgoieqjgiubtfoewfiir K.O

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Pain Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops