A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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