What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

thumb_up thumb_down +8

It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

These jokes don't have punchlines.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +8

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops