If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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