How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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hey guys im gay

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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