What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A bar walks into a man

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops