If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Dyslexics have more nuf!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops