What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Wait what? I did not type that!

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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