Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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SHUT UP JP

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Tim: You wanna hear an anti-joke? Billy: Yes! Tim: Okay, I've got one for you Billy: Let's hear it! Tim: 1

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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