Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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