Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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how much fish could a chicken

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops