Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

69.

Why was the black boy late for school? He missed the bus

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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