What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

drugs.

Women's rights.

Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...