Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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