Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops