a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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hey hey apple

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops